


Love Me (Love You)

by Oh_well_its_me



Series: Try Again [2]
Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Getting Together, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Moving In Together, Non-Explicit Sex, Pre-Game Personalities (New Dangan Ronpa V3)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:48:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24116770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oh_well_its_me/pseuds/Oh_well_its_me
Summary: Kokichi's perspective on the events of mostly before and after Tear You Apart (it's better not to read without reading it beforehand, but should be good enough on its own)Ouma Month Day 1 Pre-Game AU & Day 2 NostalgiaLove me, love me... I love you
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Series: Try Again [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1768129
Comments: 5
Kudos: 44
Collections: Kokichi Ouma Month





	Love Me (Love You)

Technically, it wasn't his first love. Or was it? The concept always confused him. How was he supposed to know if it was love?

He knew he hadn't been in love with people he only started to consider romantically after they became clearly unavailable, whether they were in a relationship or out of his life, that was just curiosity, a bit of wondering about what ifs.

The way he felt about his idols was a different kind of adoration too, it was silly of him to feel this much just because somebody was saying things he agreed with... It is one of his biggest wantings to be understood, though, so maybe it makes sense after all, but he still cringes at the thought of possibly admitting to crushing on his favorite youtuber.

And he cares about his friends, but it's not like that. It has no right to be like that. Friendship is a priority and he can't fuck it up just because he's lonely. And he knows there's nothing more to it when he's longing for a more intimate relationship. That lonliness makes him desperate and desperation is making him stupid. He knows each one of his friends to know they wouldn't make it work anyway.

Can't help the reaction to one of them coming out as bi, as that's just the way it is when you realize someone real and in your area and so familiar is available like that you start to notice them that way too. But it feels bad and wrong and he can't do that. It's like the opposite of the regular what ifs, it's filled with actual possibilities and it's scary.

He has to think realistically, he has known the guy for a decade at least, they don't even agree on cats versus dogs. It would just tear their friendship apart, he didn't even pay much attention to his face before otherwise he would already know what his eye color is. So he lets go of the tension like a good friend.

He's always doing his best to be a good friend. He's basically parenting for half of them. It probably looks funny from the outside as he's one scrawny boy looking after a bunch of hooligans. Fate had them grow up together, it's a mismatched group and it leaves a lot of responsibilities on his head, but he wouldn't have it any other way.

It feels good to be useful, to help them with school work and fake signatures of their parents for them and always have a first aid kit in his bag and toss them stolen granola bars, so they aren't hungry while skipping the whole day.

He's so proud when they reach out to him when they need advice or to vent about something. It just means the world to him. Being needed. Knowing he's making a difference. That's what he lives for.

The game changes when he notices the boy in a baseball cap staring at him from across the hallway. He's not the most confrontational person by any means, but he has his friends beside him, so he's about to ask the guy what's his problem. That's when things get interesting, because as they make eye contact dude blushes like... is that possible to get this red this fast? Maybe he should establish a Guinness record.

The sharp eyeliner and the stars themselves disappear from the view in an instant and then the stranger runs away too. Fortunately or not, Kokichi didn't dismiss or forget that.

The search became the most exciting part of his school days after he made sure it wasn't accidental and he noticed the hat guy checking him out again.

It was easy to find the hat in the crowd, what he was searching for were the eyes. It was a rare sight, so he was actually keeping count.

As the time passed he had figured out when and where they could meet and short glances turned into staring contests and pretending-I-don't-see-you challenges and a brush of shoulders that was anything but accidental.

Of course, his friends noticed and made jokes about that and the jokes spiralled into dragging him to the mall and making him try on dresses, so he can become the new disney princess and first gay characters simultanously.

Ugly laughter at a sex shop; because they got kicked out of lingerie shop; where he really thought they were just kidding about the garter. At least they didn't make him pay for that outfit. Back then he also believed they couldn't force him to attend prom or wear his princess costume ever again.

He should have expected that if they already put money into it they wouldn't hesitate to make further sacrifices and get them all in trouble so they're involved in making preparations just so he has to be there on that day.

Seriously, fuck those guys and them bringing it up again specifically when Saihara can overhear.

Technically, he could still not show up, but that was not like him to disappoint like that. So after they were done decorating he went to change without even putting up a fight. The black dress was fitting him really well and he wasn't comfortable with being seen dressed this way, but he could fake confidence.

It was a lovely sight to see Saihara blushing bright red when they made eye contact, but he wanted more than that.

Sadly, the boy ran off when Kokichi tried approaching him. He didn't even want to drink with his friends after that, so he was just sulking by the wall until his crush came back.

This was the first time Saihara reached out to him, instead of just having a stare down filled with sexual tension. He didn't mind the stutter or the overall awkwardness or even sweaty hands the other had. He couldn't. His whole being was buzzing with energy, having a front row view at his eyes was enough for him.

So gorgeous. The feeling of key to the "Fuck flat" that usually had nothing to do with fucking and a lot more with drinking, hangovers and secret meet ups was burning against his leg, tucked under the garnet like a dagger.

He was hesitant as to if he'd actually use it as he didn't want his first time to be a one night stand.

But... he kinda wanted something to happen between them that night.

He confessed that he was interested in him for a while, it might have been taking things too far, but he also said "I think I like you." That broke Shuichi for a good minute, but then they went in for a kiss and it was all worth it.

Maybe he didn't love him then, it's hard to tell what's love, maybe he just wanted to be on the high of being loved and god, he wanted Shuichi to love him, to touch him like that forever. With so much want and urgency and care and curiosity, gentle but greedy. It made him feel like he was a god and he was ready to take Shuichi to church and make him a believer.

It probably would be for the best if he didn't allow his ass to be felt up in public, but it was too good to leave a place for complaints. He wasn't even slightly embarrassed when he heard "Get a room!"

It was a nice surprise to see Shuichi in as much of a rush to leave as he was.

* * *

As soon as he closed the door behind them they were kissing again. Making out against the door was such a cliche and he was living it, absolutely amazing to feel it against his back and wrap his legs around the other's waist, he rates this experience twelve out of ten.

Then they stumble around in the dark to land on the closest armchair and he slides down on the floor to find himself between Saihara's long legs.

Maybe that's his fear of vulnerability or naturally coming servitude or just the fact that looking in Saihara's eyes makes him want to suck his soul out through his dick, but he decides to give him a blowjob and jerk himself off without letting the other return the favor.

And then in the post orgasm haze they cuddle and talk for hours, deep into the night and make tea in the tiny kitchen, because there's nothing else and eventually they go to McDonald's at 3AM and call it a date. It has some sort of otherworldly energy, but they're too busy feeding each other fries to care.

Eventually the night melts away and they have to part and things are back to being weird again for a few days, so they get another intervention and this time there's nothing left unsaid.

So they officially become a couple and it's nice and it doesn't turn his life upside down like he thought it would.

There's more dates and more fooling around and watching Danganronpa at Shuichi's place and making fun of Shuichi for being intimidated by his friends and just more of Shuichi every day, almost as if everything was going to be fine, which wasn't something he could believe.

They have deep conversations about life and the meaningless ones to fill the silence and slowly they learn each other, commit the details to memory, it's soothing, it feels right to know about all the little things like favorite color and soda flavor, answers to the what danganronpa character are you quizzes and the time the other goes to sleep.

And it's just another cute act of care when Shuichi says they should audition together, he always wanted to, but didn't want to leave Kokichi behind. He agrees, it's romantic to go in together, even though they have small chances.

Shuichi is as considerate as he was when they finally decided to try anal, maybe does even more reaserch and talks about all the possibilities and makes sure they're still both okay with it.

It's really cute when Shu looks so worried and then flustered when the response remains the same. He's certain, he'd follow him to hell and back, if only Shuichi gets accepted - he'll wait for him, if only he does then he'll turn it down , but no, he doesn't want Shuichi to do the same. They joke about Shuichi being taken in as a replacement when he refuses being a possibility, but it's so unreal it doesn't sit well even as a joke.

And they speak about death more than before, more seriously than ever before. Neither of them minds dying in the simulation, but he wouldn't want to be the murderer, especially of Shuichi. They still agree not to hold each other accountable for anything from simulation, it's not like they can remember about knowing each other in there.

So, when the school year ends neither of them thinks of college. Instead, Ouma takes what he can from his family home and moves into Saihara's apartament. It's way too fast, they've been together for five months, a bit less than that actually, but they want to make extra sure they won't lose each other, nothing will be forgotten.

It's fine, Shuichi's asshole parents left him with nothing but money, the excess he has shows in the amount of merch he has. And his uncle who sometimes checks on him will have less to worry about, with Ouma cleaning the place there's no more risk of drowning in piles of trash. He's not a leech, he does as many chores as he can without his boyfriend stopping him and taking the work in his hands.

It's so much better than living with his parents. It turns out he genuinely enjoys some of the chores when he's not being forced to and his shoulders are capable of not being tense in a home devoid of yelling.

Vacation only lasts so long, especially when both of them are so busy making as much memories as they can and decluttering the little apartament that's now housing the two and not just one so there's actually space for Ouma's belongings too, and spending days hanging out with his friends so they can spend the nights alone cuddling and whispering, leaving little notes of what they don't want to ever forget in a notebook hidden underneath their mattress.

Then the auditions happen like every year on the same day as school begins, with at least a few high schoolers showing up anyway. He can tell by seeing how they get dragged away from the casting room.

At least Team DR doesn't bother with reporting kids to the police for the fake IDs. He's seen the one Shuichi tried going in with three years ago. People who thought this would pass as legit should be arrested for that clownery. Yes, he's implying that his boyfriend is a dumbass. Can't help falling in love with an idiot, don't blame him.

Ah, he doesn't know when he actually started calling it love, it just came naturally. He probably said it first before he meant it, but eventually he did. Perhaps he knew that since he heard honesty in his own voice while he was reassuring Shuichi one time. Or maybe he didn't realize until they were standing in that long line and it clicked that he's really doing it for him and not for himself to feel loved.

The tragic story he tells for his tape is technically true; as much as it's unactual; it's easy to be convincing. He doesn't really feel this strongly about his family home, not anymore, it's hard to care or listen ever since he reached the rebel phase around the age 13, but he's aware of the abuse he lived through and it's easy to make the future mastermind cry for him.

Shirogane, that name already showed up a few times on the listing of the crew responsible for costumes, on TV as a young prodigy with a big dream, guess she made it.

He thinks she's too emotional for her role and so does her superior next to her. Whatever, sometimes unstable masterminds are better than the sadistic ones. After all they have to be caught eventually.

The accidental ones that killed the first mastermind too early or otherwise fucked up are the best though, well, the best this far, Team DR will eventually make this boring too.

Unless Shirogane cries for everyone who says something sad he has big chances of getting in.

* * *

The two weeks of waiting for acceptance letters have them bouncing off the walls. First, because of nervous energy and later because they decide to cope with stress by fucking on every surface in the house that it's possible. They haven't had sex nearly as often before, maybe twice a week not a day and definitely without varying to four. So he's sore all over and they switched a few times because he can't be taking it all the time and it might be turning into addiction and he doesn't care.

He doesn't mind when Shuichi is rougher sometimes, it's fitting when they're doing it on the desk or in the shower, but he likes going nice and slow more. Some music is playing in the background and he's setting the pace. Being penetrated feels better than topping, but he loves being on top of Shuichi and getting to see his face, just preferably while riding him.

They were making out on the couch, about to start one of their long sessions when the doorbell rang.

It's the mailman. Two letters from Team DR.

**Author's Note:**

> god, I was so torn between referencing take me to church or believer (which I was probably only considering bc it was used as a background music in one of the sex scenes in Riverdale when I was still watching it) and I ended up going for both, I don't know why I thought about that so long, it's shit anyway  
> I feel like y'all are going to dislike it, but I actually love how you can forget it's pre-game until it hits you, feel free to leave hate if I successfully lulled you into fake sense of security  
> idk how I fell in with the theme of nostalgia, but this kinda is Ouma's recollection of falling in love with Saihara, so maybe it's there  
> first I tagged it as underage because I was confused about my own timeline, but I realized they had to be 18 already since Saihara's birthday would be later than the auditions


End file.
